Re: Dewey's Diary - No Motorcycles
Malcolm
I always thought I was supposed to be smarter than Reese and Dewey. I mean, I'm the one with the IQ of 165, right? Turns out I was wrong this weekend, though. See, there's this kid, Randy. He's even dumber than Reese, and we all take advantage of him. This weekend, he showed up at our house, and started pacing with a baseball bat right outside our bedroom window. It was obvious he was angry at someone for some reason, but neither me, Reese, or Dewey could figure it out.
He was still outside Saturday morning, so we spent all day inside waiting for him to leave, which sucked because Francis came for his 21st birthday. Finally, Dewey got sick of waiting inside, so he went out and came back beaten up horribly. Yet it wasn't Dewey he wanted; we were told that was just a warm-up.
Later that day, Dad and Francis drove motorcycles through the house and broke the door. Mom and Piama were really angry. Mom was so angry she was actually nice to Piama! And I missed it because I was cowering from Randy.
Reese decided that was enough and went outside next; Randy beat him up also, but once again Reese wasn't the Wanted One. I thought I could easily wait it out, but Reese and Dewey pointed out all the other times I'd tried that and it didn't work, so I decided to go outside and face my fate.
Turns out my fate wasn't to be beaten up by Randy! See, he had the wrong house. But nothing in my life can go well, so of course Reese and Dewey had to beat me up. I can't wait until I don't need a straw to enjoy steak anymore.
(296 words)