Injuries...full list


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A full list of injuries the family (and others) have sustained over the duration of the show

Season 1

1.Home Alone 4-A shelf fell on Malcolm's head
2.Home Alone 4-Reese smashed his hand
3.Home Alone 4-Francis got a knife in his face
4.Home Alone 4-Malcolm sliced his nose w/ sharp scissors after Reese popped balloon
5.Home Alone 4-Dewey got his nose caught in Malcolm's spinning bycicle wheel
6.Home Alone 4-Francis squeezed Dewey's back really hard
7.Home Alone 4-Reese fell off a bike
8.Shame-Dewey fell out of a tree
9.Shame-Malcolm scrapped his knee
10.Francis Escapes-Stanley bent his thumb
11.Francis Escapes-Malcolm attacked him in the crotch
12.Francis Escapes-He punched Malcolm
13.Krelboyne Picnic-Reese punched Malcolm
14.Stock Car Races-Francis' cadets beat him up
15.Funeral-Lois dropped a pot on her toe
16.Rollerskates-Lois screamed so hard she threw her back
17.The Bots and The Bees-Francis' appendix burst
18.The Bots and the Bees-Lois forced Hal to burn off tattoo
19.The Bots and The Bees-Hal got stung by a swarm of bees
20.Smunday-A cart of breakables fell on Hal (and some other guy)
21.Waterpark-Dewey got an ear infection (counts?)
22.Waterpark-Reese snapped Malcolm's goggles at him

Season 2

23.Traffic Jam-Jessica pushed Malcolm down a hill; scrapped his knee
24.Lois' Birthday-Francis punched Reese
25.Lois' Birthday-Hal got punched by a clown
26.Dinner out-Stevie beat up Reese
27.Robbery-Lois punched Craig
28.Therapy-Lois twisted Reese's finger
29.High School Play-Lois injured herself falling on legos
30.The Bully-A kid beat Malcolm up
31.The Bully-A kid beat Malcolm up
32.The Bully-Francis smashed hand trying to break out of window
33.Krelboyne Girl-Cynthia injured Reese
34.Krelboyne Girl-Cynthia injured Reese (again)
35.Krelboyne Girl-Francis' cadets beat him up
36.New Neighbors-A little girl bit Reese
37.The Grandparents-Ida dropped Dewey
38.The Grandparents-Bullies beat up Malcolm
39.The Grandparents-Ida injured Malcolm
40.Traffic Ticket-Francis broke both arms/legs falling off roof
41.Tutoring Reese-Francis got a sharp toenail in his eye
42.Bowling-Reese got beat up
43.Malcolm vs. Reese-Reese beat himself up
44.Minibike-Reese crashed a minibike
45.Flashback-Reese injured his hand playing w/ bugzapper
46.Flashback-Reese got plastic ball stuck in mouth

Season 3

47.Houseboat-Phone fell on Francis' foot, he toppled into trophy case, collapsed, and it fell on him, gashing his leg 6 inches deep!!!
48.Houseboat-Dewey got rocks thrown at him by Lois
49.Emancipation-Spangler got his arm cut off by Francis
50.Emancipation-Hal bit Francis' leg
51.Malcolm's Girlfriend-Reese got bitten by dogs (naked)
52.Malcolm's Girlfriend-Malcolm and Reese beat up Dewey
53.Health Scare-Francis got beat up by Lavernia
54.Health Scare-Lavernia got beat up by Francis! :w00t:
55.Christmas-Lois caught on fire
56.Christmas-Ida stabbed Francis in leg
57.Reese's job-he got clubbed by baseball bat
58.Lois' makeover-Craig got some spiderbites
59.Lois' makerover-Hal got "crotched"
60.Company Picnic-Lois got a spider thrown on her face; likely bitten
61.Company Picnic-Malcolm got poison oak
62.Company picnic-Reese got punched by a bigger guy
63.Reese drives-Reese got pepper sprayed in the eyes
64.Reese drives-Craig fell off the roof; fell on Jellybean and injured himself so badly he couldn't blink
65.Cynthia's back-Hal smashed into mailbox
66.Cynthia's back-Hal crashed into goal post
67.Cynthia's back-Reese got beat up by Cynthia
68.Hal's birthday-Hal and Lois held burning hot pans
69.Dewey's dog-Dewey got his stomach pumped
70.Dewey's dog-Marshmallow chased Craig out into the street and put him into a wheelchair
71.Clip show-Francis got his hand stuck in a drain; likely injured
72.Clip show-Malcolm punched Reese
73.Monkey-A monkey stuffed hot lasagna into Craig's mouth
74.Monkey-The monkey hit Hal in the face w/ something
75.Monkey-A toaster fell on Hal's head

Season 4

76.Zoo-Hal got bitten by a tarantula
77.Family Reunion-Hal got beat up in school
78.Stupid Girl-Francis got beat up
79.Forwards Backwards-Reese did something to Malcolm's pants
80.Forwards Backwards-Reese gave MAlcolm a black eye
81.Forwards Backwards-Reese and Malcolm crashed each other's cars into each other
82.Forbidden Girfriend-Reese got punched in the face by a bigger guy
83.Malcolm holds his tongue-Malcolm got a stomach ulcer
84.Malcolm holds his tongue-Alison sprayed pepperspray in Craig's eye
85.Boys at Ranch-Dewey fell off of a tree branch
86.Boys at Ranch-Otto was injured (how?:confused:)
87.Grandma Sues-Ida slipped on the leaves; broke collarbone
88.Grandma Sues-Dewey punched himself in the face
89.Grandma Sues-Malcolm got his face scratched by an owl
90.If boys were girls-Malcolm punched Reese REALLY hard
91.Long Drive-Dewey got stung on the face by bees
92.Kicked Out-Craig flew backwards through a window (not sure if he was hurt, but given his luck...)
93.Hal's friend-Reese threw rocks at Dewey
94.Garage sale-Reese put a hot poker to Malcolm's hand
95.Academic Octathlon-Hal sprayed himself to where he nearly died
96.Clip Show #2-Hal got a REALLY bad papercut
97.Clip Show #2-Hal and Lois pinched each other (the former was wearing shortsleeves and had to put ointment on)
98.Clip Show #2-Dewey hit his head badly
99.Reese's Party-Craig hit Dewey in the head with a baseball bat
100.Reese's Party-Reese got a ball thrown at his crotch...he was OK though :cool:
101.Reese's Party-Craig got his skin suctioned
102.Future Malcolm-Reese punched Dewey
103.Baby (1)-Francis got his crotch badly squeezed by Ida
104.Baby (2)-Hal crashed the car and broke his neck
105.Baby (2)-Lois squeezed Abe real hard

Season 5

106.Vegas-Reese got his hand bitten by a rabbit
107.Goodbye Kitty-Malcolm got beat up; had to use a wheelchair
108.Thanksgiving-Reese pulled a hot turkey out of the oven with his BARE HANDS
109.Malcolm's Job-Francis scarred Reese with a bayonet
110.Christmas Trees-Reese punched Dewey
111.Christmas Trees-Craig got stung by bees when his car was filled with them
112.Christmas Trees-Craig had an accident with a ceiling fan
113.Christmas Trees-Craig had broke his foot looking up the Wilkerson's phone #
114.Christmas Trees-Craig got bitten by a squirrel while fluffing up Santa's beard
115.Block party-Boys were attacked by leeches
116.Block party-Reese became a pinata
117.Block party-Otto got beat up by a bull
118.Dirty Magazine-Gretchen got her toes stepped on
119.Dirty Magazine-Francis got his toes stepped on
120.Dirty Magazine-Francis got his face bloody
121.Hot Tub-Otto continually injured himself
122.Hot Tub-Hal got hot tub rash
123.Ida's boyfriend-Hal got ball thrown in face
124.Ida's boyfriend-Malcolm got tongue piercing
125.Softball-Reese got bitten by dogs
126.Softball-Hal got his heart taken out :confused:
127.Softball-Francis got bitten in the butt by dogs
128.Softball-Francis got bitten by dogs
129.Polly in the middle-A ball hit Malcolm in the crotch
130.Polly in the middle-Craig+Abe slapped each other a lot...but was pretty mild
131.Deweys special class-Chad bit Dewey with his sharp teeth
132.Deweys special class-Craig twisted his ankle
133.Deweys special class-Reese punched Dewey
134.Victor's other family-Hal sprayed chemichals in face and was blinded
135.Victor's other family-Susan tried to give Lois an ear piercing

Season 6

136.Reese comes home-Malcolm KO'd by old man
137.Buseys Run Away-Malcolm and Reese got hurt by Fireworks
138.Buseys Run Away-Dewey bit Lois
139.Standee-Reese got bitten by lobster
140.Kitty's Back-Dewey apparently sucked fire ants (probably not pleasant if he wasn't injured...)
141.Hal's christmas Gift-Reese superglued his eyelids shut
142.Hal sleepwalks-Hal hit Lois in the face when he came nude out of the closet
143.Hal sleepwalks-Reese punched Dewey
144.Lois Battles Jamie-Dewey said something about "emptying the blood out of his shoes" :confused:
145.Lois Battles Jamie-Lois got a black eye
146.Lois Battles Jamie-Diving board fell on Reese and fireworks exploded w/ him trapped underneath it! My personal favorite.
147.Lois Battles Jamie-Hal and Lois got shots (?)
148.Dewey's opera-Malcolm got his arms brutally scratched
149.Dewey's opera-Stevie got injured when he crashed into a tree
150.Ida loses a leg-Ida got her leg run over by a truck saving Dewey and it was so badly injured it had to be amputated
151.Ida loses a leg-Francis got a cut on his stomach trying to escape from the grandparents'
152.No Motorcycles-Hal cut his hand
153.No Motorcycles-Dewey got beat up
154.No Motorcycles-Reese got beat up
155.No Motorcycles-Dewey and Reese beat Malcolm up
156.No Motorcycles-Hal injured Francis
157.No Motorcycles-Francis injured Hal
158.Ida's Dance-Malcolm and Dewey (and Jamie? :confused:) got their eardrums injured by extremely loud feedback
159.Motivational Speaker-Lois got Dewey's tattoo "lasered off"
160.Stilts-Sam punched Malcolm
161.Stilts-Malcolm got "Holy crap---come look at this!"

Season 7

162.Burning Man-Malcolm got pricked by cactus
163.Health Insurance-Roof fell on Hal, dislocating knee
164.Health Insurance-Craig got sprayed with the fire ammunition sutff...does it count?
165.Reese vs. Stevie-Hal and Malcolm got their hair burned off and left red scars from Malcolm's chemistry set
166.Reese vs. Stevie-do I even have to say what happened to Reese here?! :w00t:
167.Jessica Stays over-Mike (Jessica's boyfriend) beat up Reese
168.Sescret Boyfriend-Lois hurt her back
169.Secret Boyfriend-Hal probably got bitten by that squirrel
170.Blackout-Francis sliced hand
171.Malcolm Defends Reese-Reese gave Malcolm a black eye
172.Bride of Ida-Malcolm and Reese got each other's ears tugged BRUTALLY
173.Bride of Ida-Dewey got his fingers smashed
174.Bride of Ida-Dewey got hot sauce in eyes
175.A.A.-Hal got his nipples pinched badly by Lois
176.Hal's Dentist-Lois' father pushed her down a hill on a bike (I think)...she lost some of her teeth as a result
177.Hal's dentist-Hal pulled tooth out
178.Hal's dentist-Hal poured icy water where he pulled out said tooth
179.Hal's dentist-Reese fell crotch 1st on bike
180.Bomb Shelter-Reeze ad ewey god deir dongues buhned by lidetbulds
181.Bomb Shelter-Hal burned his hand on pot
182.Bomb Shelter-Malcolm got his toes stepped on
183.Stevie in the Hospital-Stevie had some sort of operation...probably not pleasant
184.Cattle Court-Craig got run over by stampeed
185.Morp-Reese crashed
186.Graduation-Hal got electrocuted (?)
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This is amazing stuff! You have a tremendous eye for detail! It's great to have you on this board. Thanks a lot! :D



New member
Thank you so much! :D

I kept track of this stuff as I watched the series. I put the ones that took place before said episode in italics, if you're confused about why some are in italics.

I also added some I overlooked and added ones that have happened to other reacuring cast members, most notably Craig. :laugh:


Looking at your list, isn't it weird they survived all of that?!

But then again, there was always an element of slapstick in the series too, a great mixture of the highbrow (clever references, puns and plots with parallels) and this sort of lowbrow antics that gave the show its particular quirky quality.


Grace Ambler

New member
In season 3, episode Clip Show, it's actually Dewey who punches Reese, not Malcolm! It's probably the only one time that Dewey ever punches Reese and I think he should get the deserved credit for it :D

Dewey Muhammadov

New member
You are right because Reese accidental revealed that he spit on his cereal that morning. Dewey gets the end of the stick in everything in the family. But I think he will be the top dog in the house after Graduation. He will be getting Reese's Bed. Jaimie and the New Baby will sleep in the old Malcolm/Dewey Bed. Dewey deserves more. He is speech at "Baby Part 1" which is in Season 4 Episode 20 was epic. Nobody even remembers his birthday. Although every Birthday we witnessed as an audience in the Wilkerson's family was not so great.


New member
In season 3, episode Clip Show, it's actually Dewey who punches Reese, not Malcolm! It's probably the only one time that Dewey ever punches Reese and I think he should get the deserved credit for it :D

OMG I'm sorry about that...I guess I was writing it all pretty fast...


New member
What about in christmas, where malcolm reese and dewey trip up hal one of the previous Christmases when hal dressed up as santa claus. Also you forgot lois had the flu in smunday if that counts?


New member
having the flu isn't really an injury...oh, and I forgot about the tripping hal as santa...I guess I didn't consider it to result in anything worth putting on here...


New member
This really is amazing.. True Malcolm dedication right there!!

I remember when Reese has been acting really well behaved as Hal and Louis are looking for any excuse not to let him take his driving lessons, and Dewey stabs a fork into his leg! Reese goes to hit him, stops himself and pats him on the head... So funny! Doesn't really count as an injury though :p